Wednesday, April 22, 2009

She was Jessies Girl--best friends love maddness.

There's is this cheesy song from the 80's where this guy falls in love with his best friends girlfriend some of the lyrics are "Why can't I find a woman like that. . . . She was Jessie girl" Anyways I thought it was kinda funny because Tim's best friend was named Jessie and all of his girlfriends always fell in love with Tim. OK that isn't funny at all.

Again with the crazy world we live in where when you love someone, but they don't love you back, or you think you're in love only to find you don't know what love is, or you fall head over heals for someone who is taken. Am I the only one who thinks there's a problem here?

So one of the biggest heart breaker is woman are like m&ms, you can never just have one, and I guess vice verse as well. I wouldn't mind a few more men--one to go to work all day, one to cook and clean, one to tend the kids while I had some free time with Tim. How is this a bad idea--only teasing I know it's illegal, but if it wasn't. . . I guess my sister-n-law has found a way to work the system she's been divorce several times so she get child support and someone to take the kids away for the weekend that's kind of the same thing.

Anyways Jill (not her real name), who I mentioned earlier, was my best friend, moved away and morphs into a monster and here are a few of our not so happy times together and my frustrations with the opposite sex.

Jill calls, begging my to drive three hours to see her, she's needs me, and being the sweet awesome friend that I am, of course I make the journey to the rescue. She tells me that she's fighting with her boyfriend, but they made up and now I get a front row seat of them getting back together-- wonderful. Again guys you should kiss with your eyes closed and focus on one woman at a time. So for the week I'm a third wheel and Darrin, Jill's boyfriend makes the mistake of being to friendly and trying to hard to impress the best friend.

Guys while it is very important to empress the best friend be careful not to go overboard. I hope you are taking notes.

Anyways Darrin makes the mistake of slipping out that I had a cute, adorable butt in front of Jill. Now having been a dancer my whole life I did kinda have a cute butt, and it was written in all the history books at school, so it must have been true. (Joe I know it was you who wrote that in all the books, and you will pay some day.) After realize what he said he tried to make it better, but he crashed and burned big time.

Jill told him to go home and we had a heart to heart talk, where she basically blame me for all her problems and said it was horrible being my friend because she always felt invisible next to me and even when she moved hundreds of miles away to be her own person her boyfriend liked me better. Jill was gorgeous, and I in no way came close to her beauty, I knew right away that I better have a rocking personality because I wasn't going to get by on just my looks. Even Tim thought she was gorgeous, so I knew how horrible it must have felt to have your boyfriend be attracted to your friend.

AWE. . . go run and get the tissues.

I guess something snapped in her and here we were calling up Garrett and going out with another guy who had a girlfriend. Hmmm I never pictured Jill as a two timing back stabber.
Oh it gets better. Apparently she's become a stripper as well and Jill drags me a long to watch her take her clothes off from several guys all who have girlfriends, so I go find a room to try to get a way from this real life porno and here is this Garrett guy in nothing but his underwear, throws me on the bed locks the bedroom door, and has a pocket knife to me trying to rape me while I'm scream for help. Finally his roommate bust opens the door and when I ask Jill why she didn't do anything she says "I thought you two wanted to be a lone".

Grrrr. Oh being raped is what I came down here for I didn't know that. Can you tell we aren't friends anymore?

I demand Jill take me back to her house and Garrett comes along but we made a few stops along the way. First we stop at his girlfriends house who is completely beaten up, black eyes, cut up face, broken arm. Garrett had wrecked his car with her in it and he came out fine. Here he was kissing her while just moments again he was making out with Jill and trying to rape me.

It's getting late but there is another stop in a deserted field were Garrett continues trying to make out with me. When I tell him I have a boyfriend he and Jill chime in together saying "so. . . we do too"


Question? Is it really that hard to be committed to only one person?

Hours go on of me stranded trying to escape these two hormonal monsters when Jill--mind you my best friend since Kindergarten asks me to make out with her.

I get out of the car and try to find a way home. They finally agree to take me home as as Garrett open the door for me--smooth, so romantic, not. He grabs me a kisses me.

I honestly am in complete shock and how Jill has changed. I still tried to be her friend even through college, she was even my maid of honor, but things only got worse from here.

Thankfully I had a cousin who lived close and I called her to come pick me up. Ironically she's dating one of Darrin's friends and guess who comes a long with us to the movies?

Let's just say Darrin knew something was wrong when I wouldn't tell him where Jill and I were the night before.

Cheaters always get caught one way or another. And even if you don't you can be such a better person than that.

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