super sneaky hubby

So for Christmas Eve Eve we went to our little Barros Pizza shop and my lovely little two year old blurts out to the entire room "I NOT FART!" I almost choked on the pizza in my mouth from laughing so hard. I ask Tim what that was all about and he said he had scooted in the lovely vinyl seating and it made a rather raunchy sound. GOTTA love those little munchkins.

When we got home Kiora comes running in the office to tell me that my bathroom smells like it's on fire. I run in there and look everywhere but can't find where the smell is coming from. Later I told Tim that it smelt like smoke in our bathroom but I couldn't figure out why and he confessed that it was from him and that he had burned the receipts to my Christmas presents in there. I'm guessing he spent more than his $50 limit. What a goof ball. I guess that's the marine in him got to destroy all evidence.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

*picture credits www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/fart.jpg

so long. . . long

SO LONG LONG HAIR
So a few weeks ago I did locks of love at Dolce Salon and Spa, but I just haven't updated my blog in forever. I took two weeks off of work for our trip to Disneyland that I had planned at the beginning of the year, but I'm home updating my blog it obvious that trip didn't turn out. My sweetheart Kiora keeps telling me she doesn't want to go to Disneyland that it would be too cold, so it makes me feel so much better that my children aren't to heart broken about it.

Honestly taking two weeks off of work has been a vacation in itself. I actually had time to do the little things that make this time of year so fun. I baked my bootie off, and we did the condensed version of the twelve day of Christmas for a family in our ward. We labeled and wrapped up gifts for each day and then put them all in a box and dropped them off on their door step, saving us the daily trips. It was pretty humorous because I was the runner well more like the hobbler, and that was the first day in three weeks I was able to wear tennis shoes since the accident I'll get to that later.

It wasn't the fastest, nor prettiest getaway but I did manage to get away, and in one piece a Christmas miracle for a spaz like me. The girls thought it was so funny and cool that they wanted to be little criminals too, so they dropped off our cookie treats on the doorsteps, rang the doorbells and booked it back to the car before being spotted. They thought they were being so sneaking but each little treat containers had a Christmas card we had signed. If you have tried done ding dong ditch, or ring and run I highly recommend it, so fun.

Kamryn was a Christmas angel and dropped off a gift in the toy box--so proud of her, my other girls would have cried wanting the toy for themselves when they were younger, um and even now. We went to the ward party were I got my baby fix from Jen's baby girl, and we had a family gift exchange party and Dani made me cry when she gave me a flute, which I had lost mine in the move, oh and I got my baby fix from Lindy's baby. This morning I went to the girls school and help Kiora's class make ginger bead houses, and we will be going to the mountains to go snowboarding--not quit Disneyland but I think I will survive.

7 More DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS

Pampered My Little Butt Off.

Over the weekend I went to the Woman's Expo and had the most amazing time being pampered from head to toe. I almost didn't go because I would have to drive down town Phoenix--Either I have the most amazing husband who chauffeurs me everywhere like a princess or he drives me everywhere because he's genuinely concerned for my well being and lacks confidence in my driving skills either way I had never driven down town Phoenix and the thought of bone crushing, metal twisting, fire engulfing car cashes paralysis and stresses the heck out of me.

I blame my psycho driver ed teacher who made us watch gruesome videos of car crashes with brains spilled out all over the highway and then said to a class of about ten of us that statistically two of us will die in a car accident before our 10 year Reunion, so I don't like driving.

I'm not much of a city girl but I was so freaking proud of myself for driving all by lonesome and I think I could get used to this. I definitely did better than me brother who nearly killed Tim and I on our way to a Linking Park concert when he ran a red light, driving the wrong way down a one street--best part was it was right in front a police station and he got away with a warning.

So when I enter I was asked if I was 21 and I guess I wasn't that convincing because I was carded--umm I'm pushing 30 but ok.

I had a facial, manicure, massage, a makeover, won a few raffles, and met Valerie Bertinelli.

The only part that I didn't like was the life size nude pictures of before and after pictures of breast implant and tummy tuck patients. I was so tempted to grab a black sharpie and color in some con censored boxes while no one was looking--I don't even look at my own body that naked.

What a great time.

I LOVE MY JOB

Yes, I am well aware of my stacks of degrees I have collected and that my current job pays more that half as much as I was making at the Mayo Clinic, and I don’t get free education like I did working for the University, and I’m no longer a size zero with bulging biceps like when I was a personal trainer, and even if I had forgotten all these wonderful facts, I have all you lovely people reminding me so thanks, and I know you all think I’m crazy some of you love me enough to say it to my face, but despite all your concerns about me and my career decision, I LOVE MY JOB.

I can work in sweatpants, I don’t have to do my hair or wear makeup, I don’t have to worry about jerks hitting on me, well other than crazy guys hitting on over the phone but that doesn’t bother me, because I don’t have to see their pompous faces, or have them invade my bubble. I don’t have to drive hours on crowded freeways. I don’t have to put in long hard exhausting hours. We have weekly contests and bonuses, which being extremely competitive I love, I have a 401 k, and a pension plan, I have so much time off and my schedule is very flexible, I get crazy deals on everything, and get a lot of free stuff with the points I earn from being top performer, I get monthly bonuses, and I am over appreciated, the list goes on and on, and the best part is I work with some of the most amazing people for one of the best companies in the world. So long scrubs, and sweaty gyms, hello home office and being able to be a stay at home mom, which being a mom is hands down the best career of them all.

11 marvelous years of pure bliss

us at the fair where we first met. * not the greatest picture but not bad for our little 6 yr old photographer.

Saturday Oct 10 was the 11 year anniversary from the day my husband and I first met and the crazy goofball fell madly in love with me, j/k. I’m not going to put you to sleep with the mushy gushy stuff, but I just would like to say how truly blessed and lucky I am to have such an amazing husband and best friend. I’m honestly living in a fairy tale love story. I can’t believe it’s been 11 years. We met at the graham county fair and we have made it our yearly tradition to go to the fair every year and sort of reminisce in our early years, and honestly the older I get the harder it is to go on these crazy rides. Being an adrenaline junkie it makes me very sad that I now get sick on rides, I guess I’m officially an old fart, dang it.

I feel my husband and I are one of the few survivors of that happily ever after breed, and would love to go around converting the non believers. I wish everyone could be euphorically happy in love. It flatters me when people comment on what an amazing relationship I have with my husband, or say I inspire them, or write a report on us—love ya Ash, or they tell me they want what I have and ask me for advice—honestly everyone could have what we have. We aren’t superhero’s or from another planet or any of that—we are just a normal couple, well a ridiculously good-looking couple I might add ***(Humor is a must if you want to be blissfully happy) and if you want an amazing marriage you can have it.

On a side note: I don’t mind all the very personal questions or hearing every intimate detail about various relationships problems even if you are a complete stranger, and I’m happy to help in anyway I think it might just be easier to just address some of these questions in a blog, I know if you have ever tried to get a hold of me you know what a nightmare it is I’m truly sorry and I think we both know I would be lying if I told you my hectic lifestyle will calm down some day, so hopefully I will make it up to all of you who are still waiting for me to get back to you—I really love you, I promise—I just can’t be reached by phone and email is of the devil I hate email!!!! But I do blog and I’ve become addicted to facebook, so I’m getting better.

Ok now that we know that I hate email and that I have a really ridiculously good-looking husband lets move on.

I had just an amazing time over the weekend and over the past 11 years.—AND we lived happily ever after the end.

See I told you I wouldn’t bore you with the mushy stuff but if you are dying to know you can go to. . . .coming soon.

I survived

I survived a month of beauty ugh. OK I really didn’t do much it’s a lot more work than I thought it would be, but I will have to give myself two thumbs up for being such a good sport. The results? Drum roll please….I got several compliments, my favorite was “Sharla you are gloriously glowing”, and my husband said he liked my toenails umm OK honey I will have to work harder for you, and then there was one awkward moment when my father n law was yelling at me to hang up the phone and when I started to speak he realized it was me and not his 15 year old daughter, so woo hooo I got mistaken for a teenager who happens to be gorgeous—love ya Danni. I of course didn’t mind him giving me orders and teased him about bossing me around, but it really embarrassed the heck out of the poor guy, and my niece thought it was pretty hilarious. As far as my little black dress we will see this weekend when I take my husband out for our 11 year anniversary . . . OK it’s not our real anniversary but we still celebrate the day we first met.

OK I seriously doubt I would ever wear anything like that out in public, so I will have to find a way to squeeze in a candle lit dinner with work and three kids and mountains of house work. Heck anything is possible now. Oh and hopefully I will find time to cut my hair before this weekend.

As far as me becoming a gorgeous woman, we’ll see. I honestly didn’t mind the candle lit bubble bathes, massages, and pedicures and manicures, but as far as all the other crazy things you lovely ladies do to always look perky and flawless I will have to pass—for now, but I haven’t given up on that dream of stopping traffic and rendering my husband speechless—It’s just have to wait.

Here is my bathtub of beauty. I may not look like a woman but I sure do know how to shop like one. Geese with all this crap you would think I would be silky smooth and flawless, but problem is I try it once and put it under my sink and there it will stay until it meets it's fateful death in the trash never used again.

Doritos Diving

What I’ve learned after many, many years studying psychology, sociology, and all the other ologies about human behavior and such, trying to decipher, and decode human logic is to stop trying to understand human logic—we have none.

Now I’ll admit I completely adore quirky and bizarre people, that’s why I used to work in a psych ward at the hospital, but after being attacked by a naked crazy guy while I was 6 months pregnant I decided it was a little to dangerous and transferred the next day, but that’s another story. Oh on a side note why do crazy people always take off all their clothes? I’m not complaining just asking. Hmm I wonder if I have my own super nude suit.

Ok so let me set the scene—here I am walking through the Bashas in my home town picking up food for our camping trip and here I see this guy I went to high school with and like the great Houdini, “Now you see him, Now you don’t,” and this crazy goofball practically dove into the bags of chips to try to hide from me. Hello genius if I didn’t see you before, I definitely see you now. It still makes me laugh, and I still have no idea what could have possessed this guy to do such an amazing stunt—He must have had a severe craving for Doritos. I’m still stumped on this one, and the only explanation I can come up with is he did that just for my sheer enjoyment.

Gotta love cheap entertainment. Thanks, **** you are now my favorite dip.