Doritos Diving

What I’ve learned after many, many years studying psychology, sociology, and all the other ologies about human behavior and such, trying to decipher, and decode human logic is to stop trying to understand human logic—we have none.

Now I’ll admit I completely adore quirky and bizarre people, that’s why I used to work in a psych ward at the hospital, but after being attacked by a naked crazy guy while I was 6 months pregnant I decided it was a little to dangerous and transferred the next day, but that’s another story. Oh on a side note why do crazy people always take off all their clothes? I’m not complaining just asking. Hmm I wonder if I have my own super nude suit.

Ok so let me set the scene—here I am walking through the Bashas in my home town picking up food for our camping trip and here I see this guy I went to high school with and like the great Houdini, “Now you see him, Now you don’t,” and this crazy goofball practically dove into the bags of chips to try to hide from me. Hello genius if I didn’t see you before, I definitely see you now. It still makes me laugh, and I still have no idea what could have possessed this guy to do such an amazing stunt—He must have had a severe craving for Doritos. I’m still stumped on this one, and the only explanation I can come up with is he did that just for my sheer enjoyment.

Gotta love cheap entertainment. Thanks, **** you are now my favorite dip.

A Trip to Pima—The Closest Thing To Being A Celebrity

We packed our bags, Kidos and Pooch and headed out to Pima over Labor Day Weekend. I had to work Thursday, but I was able to work and early shift so I was off at 6 p.m., but Tim forgot to dry his clothes so we had to wait until about 7pm and I of course had to hit up Sonic before we left and we got caught in this crazy dust storm in Maricopa, kinda like in the movie “The Scorpion King”—isn’t the Rock smoking hot? AWE……

ok moving on, we finally inch our way out of Maricopa only to get pummeled by a rainstorm so our lovely 3 ½ hour trip took just under 6 hours so we pulled in after midnight and just crashed. Luckily for Tim he had to wake up at 5 a.m. to go to work with his dad, so I decided to go help my dad pack and move some things, so our labor day was full of just that.

I work for a few hours until I started to become offensive, so I took a very long, long, long, shower and went shopping. I got really carried away but my dad decided to pay me for helping him so I ended up blowing $100 or so but technically it wasn’t my money.

OK I know I have a serious problem if only there was like a program for shopaholics in denial, oh wait I think they made a movie about me. So I of course had a fantastic time, and when I got home Tim was an adorable grease monkey, and then he turned to me and said the most beautiful words that could ever leave this gorgeous mans lips, “I need to go shopping.” I of course did my little happy dance and we went to Walmart were I bumped into Denise and her brothers, and she told me she was moving to the Virgin Islands—Denise I’m totally jealous, but I still love you. The rest of the night gets fuzzy, so it must have been so fantastic I don’t even remember.

Saturday we ate at La Casitas, it’s our tradition, and then my family had this huge party to celebrate me coming to visit and invited all my aunts and uncles and cousin and their kids, and there was food, and games and chocolate.

I love going to Pima not only does it have breath taking views, fresh air, free babysitters, loads and loads of wonderful memories, but it’s also the closest I get to feeling like a celebrity. People have parties for you, give you gifts, go wild and crazy with hugs and affection just because you walk into the room---I once even got a butt grab yeah I know. Lavern and Shirley, in Pima every body really does know your name.

Ok maybe I just have an overactive imagination, and I’m sure my family wanted to coordinate a get together for other reasons then just me coming to visit, although what other reasons do you need. So the party was awesome I even got to have the last piece of chocolate cake.

Sunday we did the church thing and I got to visit with some really amazing old friends and see new babies and even got hit on by the adorable neighbor boy, makes me laugh I’m probably old enough to be his mother.

Moday came and went, we went to the movies and packed our car and we almost didn’t have room for the kids, because of my shopping spree and all the gifts we were showered with—I could have survived leaving the dog. It felt like Christmas.

We stopped in Gilbert to visit with my prego sister-n-law, she bribed me over the phone with brownies—girl knows my weakness, and when we got there she had boxes of clothes for the girls and we honestly didn’t have any room so Kiora said she would hold them on her lap.

We stopped at “In and Out Burger” and when we got home we unloaded the car and I crashed onto the coach and Tim put the girls to bed, and surprised me with a candle lit bubble bath. AH I was exhausted. I think I need a vacation from my vacation.

Thanks to Everyone for all our many many gifts and for keeping our bellies full of delicious food. And here’s a shout out to my little old town of Pima—I love you man





photo credit by By drexqueen08

Divorce Disaster

OK so I have this rare gift that allows me to have complete strangers open up to me and tell me their entire life stories sparing no intimate details, it's very very strange but at the same time it's kinda nice to know that I come off as a trustworthy, sympathetic listener who really cares about your drama. I'm only teasing I really do care about people to much some times and I get yelled at at work all the time because of this, It's not my fault.

So here is a replay of one of those moments but I didn't realize what was happening until today.



Hubbies friend whom I don't know: "Hey how is your husband, I didn't see him is he here?"



Totally Oblivious Me: "yeah he's over there with the ladies--aka my three girls plus our adopted neighbor girl



Hubbies Friend: I'm here with my kids. . .it's really hard to watch them all without my wife.



Me: small talk about the kids.......... and then I made the stupid comment about how moms have to handles kids all day alone bla bla and then I asked if he wanted a medal (OK I'm not sure of my exact words but it was something like that, maybe it wasn't that harsh but it feels like it was)



Hubbies Friend: Must have gotten something in his eye......Awkward so I smile and leave.



So the details are a little fuzzy but I just found out the poor guys getting a divorce and that was one of those moments where he was trying to pour out his heart and soul to me, hoping for sympathy, but I totally missed it. I thought his wife was just gone for the day and I didn't think that he was that impressive because Tim takes care of the kids all the time, he could have been a little more specific and I guess he really didn't get something in his eye, pour guy was probably holding back the tears because I'm such a jerk. I feel really bad, I just don't ever think people get divorce--Tim says I live in my own little fantasy world.

Now that I found out he's getting divorced everything makes total sense, because I saw him about two months prior and he was so sad and literally was sucking the life out of everything like a black hole--another thing that comes with the gift I guess, is that I can sense other peoples emotions, I cry when they cry, I hurt when they do, etc. When I asked Tim if his friend was OK he said he was fine and then I said he seems like he's having marital problems.

Of course when I told Tim the news the other day he lovingly seized the opportunity to tease me and said that I called it and said that I have another gift of breaking marriages apart--not nice and below the belt punk.

He said it kinda makes sense because every time he sees the guy his arms get a little bigger each time like he's trying to look good for the ladies--ha ha the difference between men and women perception-- I worried about how he feels and all Tim notices is that he's working out.

I guess I've learned my lesson, but A few weeks ago we went to my Grandma's house to check on her and Kiora went off on her billion questions asking her if she was ever married and where her husband was and asked her if she's lonely..... I was mortified and it became bedtime very quickly. I explained to her on the drive home that she had gotten a divorce and it kinda makes her sad when people ask her about it and say she must be lonely. UGGH and from that day she has been freaking out about divorce. It terrifies her and she keeps asking us if we'll ever get divorced and she can't stop worrying--poor child.

What happened to the good old days when kids only had to worry about getting caught playing all night or not brushing their teeth.

My heart goes out to all those heartbroken divorcees and the poor little children who's world is forever turned upside down.

A Hint From a Horoscope

So today's tip comes from Cosmo--I don't normally read that magazine, maybe it was redbook, I can't remember but a few weeks a got this phone call from someone doing a fund raiser for the special Olympics and I told her I would like to make a cash donation and the lady insisted on sending me a magazine, and that's the one she picked. I guess they want you to get the magazine so you will forget to cancel the subscription and they can keep charging you over and over. I know how marketing works.

So I was flipping through and came across my Horoscope and it made me laugh OK cry a little too, so I thought I would share it. It said this month I should focus on my outward appearance. What a horrible horoscope, see look even the begin of the word is basically horrible. OK OK I can take a hint.

First Kiora told me not to wear my hair in a bun, then Kylee said I have a beautiful voice, but my face ruins it--awe the refreshing honesty of children. And then last night I showed a picture to Tim of me holding Kiora when she was a baby and I said "look how cute" and of course he replied "yeah you were, what happened. HA HA. I'm just glad Kamryn has a very limited vocabulary.

So I've decided, yes me, the girl who has in the past 27 years never had a facial, waxed my eyebrows or legs, or had any beauty treatment in fact ever--well except once I had a manicure and it was like torture, anyways I'm am going to devote 1 month to completely transforming my outward appearance from head to toe and became a lady even if it kills me.

I think if I can manage med school while working full time, having a baby at home, and one in the oven, and maintaining sanity and a social life and husband and home I can handle a couple of waxes here and there. I of course am not going to tell my darling hubby and hopefully I will be able to surprise the sport by becoming a smoking hot momma--he defiantly deserves a gorgeous supermodel hot trophy wife wrap around his arm. Now I know this is going to be going completely against everything I believe in and stand for, but it's only for a month and last time I check being pretty never killed anyone, well maybe it has, but I'm a survivor.

A darling quote for inspiration: "I hope people realize that there is a brain underneath the hair and a heart underneath the boobs."-Dolly Parton

I have devoted an entire blog just for this purpose and I will be posting hilarious before and hopefully some amazing after pictures and everything I find about beauty. I guess all those years of med school just to become a stay at home mommy wasn't an entire waste, because I rock at research. click on the word blog or here is the complete url http://makeovermommies.blogspot.com/ to see my head to toe makeover--um maybe a month isn't enough time.

If you're beautiful and you would like to help me on this worthy goal feel free to leave me your tips and tricks in the comment area. Thanks

Updates for August

Awe August. We had such a blast this month. Here are the highlights: The girls went back to school yeah, we went to a pool party, had a couple of bbqs, a camping trip I set up my preschool room, went to a couple of back to school parties, ikea shopping, game nights, and movie nights, couple of trips to the zoo, Kamryn turned two, and then ended it all with a game of mud football. I'm so sad summer is ending but can't wait for the holidays and cooler weather. So long summer.

All in A Days Work

My aunt sent me this adorable video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6ujADXp0dM and I had Tim watched it with me. With skepticism he said he doubts if moms really do that much in a day, and so this is for you babe:

• 6:25 A.M. Help hubby find keys and Wallet


• Got girls ready for school


• Packed lunch


• Found Kylee’s shoes and backpack


• Got juice and snacks for Kamryn


• Walked girls to bus stop gave kisses and hugs


• Walked back home carrying Kamryn—stroller next time


• Weeded the front yard Kam tried to help—kissed a booboo and put on bandage


• Took out trash


• Load of laundry


• Ate Brownie for Breakfast
• Talked to Hubby on phone
  
• Took Kams to the bathroom, wiped her, washed her potty, new panties, washed our hands
  
• 8:00 cleaned front room


• Talk to a lawyer well a not so intelligent assistant complete waste of time
  
• 8:30 played with playdo


• Dishes how could it possible take 30 minutes to do if I have a dishwasher?


• Kinda took a shower when Kamryn sprayed me down while helping with the dishes


• Danced around a bit
  
• Took Kams to the bathroom again


• Got baby apple Jack and I ate a burrito I made last night that no one ate mmmm Brownie, and Burrito for Breakfast


• cleaned toilets with Lysol It kinda smells like Pepto, minty fresh
  
• Switched laundry
  
• Took out some of the trash Tim missed—I have little trash cans throughout the house, like it helps.


• Did another load of laundry mostly towels from the Swim party on Saturday
  
• Cleaned out the lint in the dryer—awe Tim aren’t you proud
  
• Washed hands for the 7th time


• 9:30 got Kam dressed second outfit of the day
  
• Sang Kings of Leon at the top of my lungs just for the neighbors


• Potty break for Kams pulled down her pullup and a surprised plopped out onto the floor washed, no scrubbed the floor—GROSS this is like natural birth control for all you reading this without kids, at least the bathroom smells like pepto. I should have known she always waits a few seconds after I put on new panties. Wiped her and washed our hands again and got her dressed again


• Got her some juice—she’s super Grumpy today
  
• 9:30 cleaned front room picked up 6 pairs of shoes and 5 singles maybe I’m housing centipedes
  
• Caught Kams with chocolate put down the pile of shoes
  
• Held her to console her broken heart—REFRIDGERATOR RAIDOR


• Put clothes on her again—Nudist
  
  



• Gave her a ride on the girls bikes—yes bikes in the house
  
• Played drums with Kam in the garage


• Found her band aid stuck to the wall
  
  



• put a third band aid on her
  
• Found another shoe in the cushion of the couch?


• Had a drink-- : ) it was water


• Fixed Kams balloon animal we got from Ikea---LOVE IKEA


• Vacuumed living room while holding Kams while she was holding 2 puppies and a bunny—so disappointed in the parents who removed the two extra arms off of daughter, don’t they know it’s evolution


• 10:00 Finished that room it took a little longer than usually but that’s because Kam’s usually sleeping


• Potty break again—freaked out when I saw brown all over her leg—whew it tastes like chocolate only teasing I didn’t taste it. I had forgotten about her chocolate raid earlier.


• Washed hands and hosed Kam down in the Kitchen sink
  
• Put on band aid 4 decided to wrap it—with all the hand washing and bandages it reminds me of working at the Mayo clinic.


• I think I’ll let her run around in just her undies for a little while


• Push Kams stuffed animals around in the stroller
  
• 10:15 another load of laundry found a dollar yeah me
  
• Got a snack for the baby


• 10:30 the kitchen UGH I should let Tim clean it but he did give me a candle lit massage last night dang it so I’ll be nice


• Emptied dishwasher soaked pots and pans
  
  
• Shared a burrito with Kams—told you I had lots of left overs


• Dance around


• Took her to the bathroom. The little turd took her band aid off again


• 12:00 finished the Kitchen normally it doesn’t take that long but I had to mop
  
• Potty break


• Rocked Kam while watching Baby Einstein hoping she’s take a nap


• 1:00 I guess she’s not going to sleep, made peanut butter and honey sandwiches of course she opened hers and stuck it to the floor—yes dear peanut butter sticks congratulations
  
• Exhausted serves me right having brownies for breakfast
  
• Took Kam to the bathroom—to late washed hands again
  
• Ate a grapefruit which tastes nothing like grapes or fruit that woke me up
• Finished cleaning the living room
  
• Let fatty in so he could lick up any of Kams messes and entertain her


• Got Kam dressed lost count of her wardrobe changes put bandage on her again and wrapped it.


• Locked dog in bathroom, stupid dork still isn’t house broken well I guess Technically neither is Kamryn


• Vacuumed Kam finally fell asleep


• Laundry
  
• Took out recycling
  
• 2:00 babies asleep should I shower—na I still have to go pick up the girls in the hot sun
  
• Called mortgage company about loan modification put on hold
  
• Still on hold checking email only 12, 323 more to go—Hate EMAIL
  
• Charging cell phone to text Sabrina not able to attend Jordans party
  
• Bad news again—BROWNIES will fix it
  
• 2:40 washed face and got all pretty
  
• Watered plants and research—Research ROCKS


• Picked girls up
  
• Potty break again but this time bathroom smells like a stinky dog yuck
  
• Homework
  
• Boiled eggs for snacks


• Worked for 4-8
  
• 8:00 Ate lasagna
  
• Family home evening
  
• Put kids to bed
  
• Showered RINSE AND REPEAT TOMMORROW
  
  I love being a mom and wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.
  
  Have you hug a mom lately.

Mortgage Madness

Ok why is it, when it rains it pours. Tim’s hours have now been cut to part time so our income has been cut more than in half and coincidently our mortgage decides to jump up $500 a month. I was able to negotiate with the escrow department to spread out our payments to the max so instead of having to pay $1900 a month it’s down to $1700 yeah, but it’s still $300 more than when Tim was working full Tim and had his bonuses and extra income on the side. I’m going to contest our property taxes but after that I’m all out of ideas. And I was a little upset with our $600 electric bill and when I called to ask why it double the lady just replied it was hotter this month. I guess it’s a packing we will go. I guess life was getting a little to easy. It reminds me of my English professor who gave me my first D in my life and when I ask what was wrong with my paper he said nothing, but he knew it wasn’t my best and he wasn’t going to let me coast through his class, and he knew I was this amazing writer and he had all these wonderful hopes and visions for my future—um clearly he didn’t read my transcripts, because I was a Med Student not an English major, but I do have to secretly admit I have notebooks full of books I’ve written and I’m a passionate writer, it’s my therapy, any time I’m stressed I write and I love it. Dang it old people and their wisdom. I’m still praying for a miracle. It was so adorable our little neighbor girl said she had a dollar she could give me so we wouldn’t have to move because Kiora and Kylee are like her BFFs. I guess I have to reluctantly turn the next chapter in my life, but ecstatic, the big guy has so much faith in me to give me such a handful of challenges. I guess being a personal trainer I can see it in a good way,
without resistance, there’s no rippling pectorals. grrrrrr --"He'll be back" hopefully with some pants


***Picture credits* google images armchairspasm.wordpress.com/2008/07/ and www.moonbattery.com/archives/2007/09/