The strangest thing happened in church Sunday that made me start to think about how messed up the relationships between men and women are, and how I've almost given up complete hope that a platonic friendship could exist.
So back to my story: On Sunday I was sitting by this lady, well two chairs away, no one ever wants to sit next to me, but that's a different story, and she introduced herself as though she was at an AA meeting, " Hi my name is so and so and I haven't been to church for over five years but I had a feeling I needed to be here today". Just before the end of the lesson she said she had a comment and then told us that she was abused and when she got a divorce everyone was saying that she was trying to steal their husbands and that is why she stop going to church. Everyone started whispering and rolling their eyes, and honestly I don't know how her comment was relevant to what we were talking about, but it was rather entertaining to see every ones reaction to her, and then another divorcee said that she had a similar experience and reassure everyone that she didn't want any of our husbands--obviously she hasn't met mine yet only teasing.
Afterwards I started to think about all my past experiences, and how the relationships between men and women are so messed up. I will sharing a few of my experience with bizarre experiences with the opposite sex in hopes to gets some answers to life's toughest questions,
and I would love to hear some of your experiences as well or your suggestions to help me not be such a heart breaker and home wrecker.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Procrastinator Princess
I am the biggest procrastinator in the world! It almost has a super hero ring to it--THE PROCRASTINATOR. Watch out Governor Arnold, "I'll be Back". . . tomorrow.
So it's no surprise that I just filed my taxes the day they were due. I honestly believe I must have been born with this sickness. As long as I can remember I was always putting things off till the last minute. Every report was done the morning it was due, even when I was asked to speak in public I would prepare my speech five to ten minutes before.
I never understood the stupid saying "A stitch in time saves nine"-- hello that's why they invented sewing machines.
So now I'm hosting a party for a bunch of six year old tomorrow and I don't have anything yet, no party favors, ice cream, cake, decorations, and my house is a disaster. I still have to shampoo the carpets, and furniture, I basically have to clean every room and surface in my house every second of the day to keep it clean because I live with a three little messy monkeys--OK four Tim's a little messy too : ) only teasing.
I love the adrenalin rush of having to beat the clock, and I need the stress to get me motivated, I'm sure every procrastinator has there share of excuses. I'm sure it will be perfect and wonderful it always turns out in the end, but I think I'm getting to old for this. I might even try to be normal and get things done at least the day before, baby steps people I'm not a super hero or am I?
So it's no surprise that I just filed my taxes the day they were due. I honestly believe I must have been born with this sickness. As long as I can remember I was always putting things off till the last minute. Every report was done the morning it was due, even when I was asked to speak in public I would prepare my speech five to ten minutes before.
I never understood the stupid saying "A stitch in time saves nine"-- hello that's why they invented sewing machines.
So now I'm hosting a party for a bunch of six year old tomorrow and I don't have anything yet, no party favors, ice cream, cake, decorations, and my house is a disaster. I still have to shampoo the carpets, and furniture, I basically have to clean every room and surface in my house every second of the day to keep it clean because I live with a three little messy monkeys--OK four Tim's a little messy too : ) only teasing.
I love the adrenalin rush of having to beat the clock, and I need the stress to get me motivated, I'm sure every procrastinator has there share of excuses. I'm sure it will be perfect and wonderful it always turns out in the end, but I think I'm getting to old for this. I might even try to be normal and get things done at least the day before, baby steps people I'm not a super hero or am I?
Monday, March 30, 2009
Blind and Spazmotic
I'm blind and spazmodic--not a winning combination. This morning I was washing my contact and I dropped it down the sink and washed it down. I tried to save it, and I even took the sink apart to see if it was in the loop--no luck. So I was wearing my glasses and playing with Kamryn. Babies love glasses, love to eat them and break them in half. Kam grabbed them and snapped one of the side pieces off. Being a spaz most of my life, I come prepared for anything, so of course I have an extra pair of glasses. So everything is going great, I'm using my ninja skills to protect my last pair of glasses from babies and the forces of evil, but I'm sad to say I was only successful for a few hours, and my last hope of sight was incinerated in the oven--I know go ahead and laugh. I was sticking my head in there trying to end it all, only teasing I was pulling out dinner and my glasses slipped off and fell into the oven, and my hands were full holding a casserole so by the time I pulled them out they were mostly melted on the bottom. I think I'm going to have to start saving up for lasic surgery. So if you see me walking around with taped together glasses, looking gorgeous wondering what happened, I just have a few words to say about it--I'm a super spaz and I trying to protect my identify.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
25 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME
1. I’m a hopeless romantic. I know pick up lines in 11 different languages—many of my useless talents.
2. I love exotic flowers
3. Few of my all time favorite things: the ocean, the beach, the stars, and camp fires. I could be a beach bum even though I’m a albino red head who burns while driving ten minutes in the car with long sleeves on.
4. I was allergic to the sun—well vitamin D—so I would get horrible rashes when I went outside.
5. People give my free stuff everywhere I go—very strange but I kinda like it. My favorite was free tickets to sea world and the zoo oh and the girls computer. Maybe I come off as a poor, homeless girl. hmmm maybe I should think about showering more often. : )
6. I almost didn’t graduate from High School even though I had a 4.0 because I skipped school habitually. I even joined every club I could so I could get out of school—yep even the chess club.
7. I love to dance umm maybe a little too much.
8. I love babies and find the elderly adorable, oh and pregnant bellies.
9. I was crazy in love with Elijah Wood when I was little and used to write my name as Sharla Wood over and over. Ha Ha that’s not why I married my husband but I didn’t have a problem writing my name after I got married.
10. I’m actually a member of Mensa shhh I’m secretly smart. I once had a guy say “I didn’t know you where smart too” Apparently I need to become a sesquipedalian, wear a pocket protector, quote famous old people, and solve equations all day. Darn I thought wearing my Genius shirt, and having crazy hair was enough.
11. I have an obsession with clothes—my closet is bigger than my bathroom and I couldn’t wear all the clothes I own in a year. I know I’ll go to the meetings
12. I modeled as a live manikin and almost gave a little girl a heart attach when she touch me and I said boo. I know I feel really bad.
13. I work with the winner of Top Model two year in a row. If walking next to her doesn’t make you feel gorgeous I don’t know what will.
14. I’ve moved 12 times in the last 7 years I’ve been married. Ironically I fought to have my husband honorably discharged from the marines because I didn’t want to have to move a lot only to find out we would only have been stationed in Hawaii or Florida because of his position.
15. I’m terrified of dying
16. I’m an adrenalin junkie—I love theme parks and roller coasters, riding dirt bikes, driving fast, cliff jumping, etc—but I’ve never been ski diving—never will.
17. I’ve been pulled over more than thirty times and never received a ticket, but I’m not as cool as my brother who got out of a ticket when he ran a red light, speeding, down a one way street driving the wrong way, right in front of a police station—SPAZ.
18. I was basically stripped search in front of thousand of strangers when I went to concert because the crazy lady thought my underwire in my bra was a weapon—I’ve yet to wear another underwire since nor go to a concert. Who knew Victoria’s secret was she was hiding a weapon in her bra.
19. I have an emotional attachment to food—I love to eat, and I’m such a pig. I love to cook but I think it’s only because I get to taste and try the food while preparing it. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten less than 3000 calories a day and I’m so jealous of all you girls who can just eat salads and feel full, and I’ve had to lose more than my entire body weight after having three kids—did I mention I love to eat.
20. I’m a certified personal trainer—makes sense.
21. I have vertigo and I get sick riding in elevators and find it hard to stand or walk, and pass out if I’m not careful even if it’s on the third floor. I used to work on the 6th floor of the Mayo clinic, so literally my job made me sick.
22. I have been hired for every job I’ve applied for even if I was grotesquely under qualified. My husband has a theory on that one but I think there are some flaws.
23. I’m extremely compassionate and have been told I smile too much and I’m too nice, and I get yelled out at by my boss because I’m such a softy. I’ve yet to be able to say no to a door to door sales man and buy even if it’s crap I won’t use. I do love my kerby though.
24. I secretly leave money to people—I know money can’t buy happiness but it can buy just about everything else. Wouldn’t it make you happy to find $100 on your door step—I get excited when I find a couple of bucks in the washing machine. Best of all it’s not my money—sorry honey. I’m only teasing, ok I’m not.
25. I’m basically the luckiest dork and spaz alive surrounded by wonderful people who spoil me rotten. I love life, and try to live it to the fullest, and pursue fun with a vengeance.
2. I love exotic flowers
3. Few of my all time favorite things: the ocean, the beach, the stars, and camp fires. I could be a beach bum even though I’m a albino red head who burns while driving ten minutes in the car with long sleeves on.
4. I was allergic to the sun—well vitamin D—so I would get horrible rashes when I went outside.
5. People give my free stuff everywhere I go—very strange but I kinda like it. My favorite was free tickets to sea world and the zoo oh and the girls computer. Maybe I come off as a poor, homeless girl. hmmm maybe I should think about showering more often. : )
6. I almost didn’t graduate from High School even though I had a 4.0 because I skipped school habitually. I even joined every club I could so I could get out of school—yep even the chess club.
7. I love to dance umm maybe a little too much.
8. I love babies and find the elderly adorable, oh and pregnant bellies.
9. I was crazy in love with Elijah Wood when I was little and used to write my name as Sharla Wood over and over. Ha Ha that’s not why I married my husband but I didn’t have a problem writing my name after I got married.
10. I’m actually a member of Mensa shhh I’m secretly smart. I once had a guy say “I didn’t know you where smart too” Apparently I need to become a sesquipedalian, wear a pocket protector, quote famous old people, and solve equations all day. Darn I thought wearing my Genius shirt, and having crazy hair was enough.
11. I have an obsession with clothes—my closet is bigger than my bathroom and I couldn’t wear all the clothes I own in a year. I know I’ll go to the meetings
12. I modeled as a live manikin and almost gave a little girl a heart attach when she touch me and I said boo. I know I feel really bad.
13. I work with the winner of Top Model two year in a row. If walking next to her doesn’t make you feel gorgeous I don’t know what will.
14. I’ve moved 12 times in the last 7 years I’ve been married. Ironically I fought to have my husband honorably discharged from the marines because I didn’t want to have to move a lot only to find out we would only have been stationed in Hawaii or Florida because of his position.
15. I’m terrified of dying
16. I’m an adrenalin junkie—I love theme parks and roller coasters, riding dirt bikes, driving fast, cliff jumping, etc—but I’ve never been ski diving—never will.
17. I’ve been pulled over more than thirty times and never received a ticket, but I’m not as cool as my brother who got out of a ticket when he ran a red light, speeding, down a one way street driving the wrong way, right in front of a police station—SPAZ.
18. I was basically stripped search in front of thousand of strangers when I went to concert because the crazy lady thought my underwire in my bra was a weapon—I’ve yet to wear another underwire since nor go to a concert. Who knew Victoria’s secret was she was hiding a weapon in her bra.
19. I have an emotional attachment to food—I love to eat, and I’m such a pig. I love to cook but I think it’s only because I get to taste and try the food while preparing it. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten less than 3000 calories a day and I’m so jealous of all you girls who can just eat salads and feel full, and I’ve had to lose more than my entire body weight after having three kids—did I mention I love to eat.
20. I’m a certified personal trainer—makes sense.
21. I have vertigo and I get sick riding in elevators and find it hard to stand or walk, and pass out if I’m not careful even if it’s on the third floor. I used to work on the 6th floor of the Mayo clinic, so literally my job made me sick.
22. I have been hired for every job I’ve applied for even if I was grotesquely under qualified. My husband has a theory on that one but I think there are some flaws.
23. I’m extremely compassionate and have been told I smile too much and I’m too nice, and I get yelled out at by my boss because I’m such a softy. I’ve yet to be able to say no to a door to door sales man and buy even if it’s crap I won’t use. I do love my kerby though.
24. I secretly leave money to people—I know money can’t buy happiness but it can buy just about everything else. Wouldn’t it make you happy to find $100 on your door step—I get excited when I find a couple of bucks in the washing machine. Best of all it’s not my money—sorry honey. I’m only teasing, ok I’m not.
25. I’m basically the luckiest dork and spaz alive surrounded by wonderful people who spoil me rotten. I love life, and try to live it to the fullest, and pursue fun with a vengeance.
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